


A Cold Day in Autumn

by thisbluespirit



Category: Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: 4 Things, Crack, Dubious Consent, For Science!, Humor, Multi, one particular alien told them to do it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-07 23:31:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17375276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisbluespirit/pseuds/thisbluespirit
Summary: Funnily enough, there's always only this one way of saving the world...





	A Cold Day in Autumn

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ravenskyewalker](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravenskyewalker/gifts).



**Autumn**

“I don’t like the look of those leaves.”

Liz immediately stared up at the yellowing leaves still on the trees around them in the wood. She then looked back at the Doctor. “In what way?”

“This is no time to be admiring the scenery,” said the Brigadier from up ahead, turning back to see why they weren’t following him, for what must be at least the third time. “I think that might be Shepley Castle, so the base can’t be too far away.”

The Doctor ignored him, catching hold of Liz’s arm. “See? That’s a chestnut tree, but those leaves aren’t at all the right shape. I think that teleport device didn’t just get us out of the way – it’s sent us into a trap.”

The leaves did look very much like leaves to Liz, she had to admit, despite her several degrees. But as she was squinting at them and Brigadier marched back over, no doubt to demand explanations, they exploded into a golden brown powdery substance.

“Oh, dear,” said the Doctor. “Well, I suppose it’ll be quite the experience…”

Liz tried, uselessly, to ward the stuff off with her hand. “What is it?” she asked, coughing.

“I think you humans would term it, ah, sex pollen,” said the Doctor. “Time to find out if we’re compatible or not. What a terrible shame none of us will be in any state to be taking notes!”

“You’re not serious!” Liz should have known better by now, but she couldn’t keep from laughing at that preposterous statement.

A few seconds later, she found out in no uncertain terms that the Doctor was, indeed, _entirely_ serious.

 

**Winter**

The Brigadier stared out at the falling snow. “Where’s this lot coming from? It wasn’t forecast.”

“You see, when _you_ blew up the Kivari spacecraft, its exploding energy source caused a localised freak weather event. Ever wondered what it felt like to live in a mini ice age, Brigadier? Because we’re about to find out. I suggest you shut the door and we find any means within our power to keep warm while it lasts.”

The Brigadier shut the door hastily, and then turned to the other two. “Any more useful ideas, Doctor?”

“Well . . . You remember out in the woods?” said the Doctor, with a small cough. “We could try it again, and this time there’d be plenty of time for scientific notes.”

“That’s an appalling suggestion, Doctor!”

Liz had her arms hugged in against herself. “So is freezing to death.”

“Very well,” said the Brigadier, conceding rather more swiftly than Liz had expected. “But absolutely no notes, thank you, Doctor. I don’t want Geneva hearing about this – or Whitehall, for that matter. I can’t imagine what the Minister would say.”

 

**Spring**

Liz spread the rug out, while the Doctor fished a fully loaded picnic basket out of Bessie, whistling as he walked over. It was a glorious, clear spring day, blossom overhead on the trees, and if not hot, it was at least, warmer than usual for April in the south east of England.

As Liz sat down on the blanket, smoothing out its edges, they heard the disruptive noise of a Landrover’s engine as it approached down the country lane.

“That’ll be the Brigadier,” said the Doctor. “Commendably punctual, I’ll say that much for him. I devised a method of making a recorded phone call from the lab to his office about, oh, thirty-four minutes ago, telling him we were in the most terrible danger.”

Liz narrowed her gaze. “Oh, _did_ you? Not very ethical of you! Doctor, what are you up to?”

“Ah, well,” said the Doctor, pulling at his collar, his gaze shifting away from hers. “Our experiment – our unique investigation into the compatibilities of the human male and the human female with one rather remarkable Gallifreyan, you know. I really _must_ have proper notes, my dear.”

Liz watched the Landrover pull up a few yards away. “And what excuse are you going to use this time?”

“Aliens told us to do it. Otherwise they’d destroy the planet – or abduct other subjects for their experiments. That’s why we need the recording device.” The Doctor nodded at the basket and then gave her his most charming smile. “How does that sound?”

Liz shrugged. “It’s the Brigadier you’ve got to fool, not me.”

 

On being informed of the latest calamity, the Brigadier made remarkably little objection, although he did go so far as to raise one eyebrow in weary scepticism at the Doctor’s tale.

“Notes if you must,” was all he said, “but not a damned tape recorder, Doctor!”

 

**Summer**

The Doctor was still lying unconscious on the floor of the lab, pale, and possibly even befrosted, if that was possible. The Brigadier watched in concern as Liz knelt over him.

“Well?” said the Brigadier.

Liz laid her head on the Doctor’s chest, listening for first one heartbeat and then the other. “It’s the blast from the Grei’s device. It took most of his energy deactivating it. From what I gathered while we were working on it, we can help him by transferring some of our energy – kinetic energy – from us to him.”

“Then what are we waiting for?”

She looked over at him. “I think I can rig up their machine to reverse the effects, but it’ll be very basic and in order to transfer the energy, the best solution I can come up with is for us to – well, you will recall our little ongoing experiment?”

The Brigadier didn’t even bother to protest. He said, with lurking amusement, “Well, at least the dratted fellow can’t take any notes this time. Set it up, Dr Shaw. I’ll lock the door. Can’t have any of the men walking in on us.”

“I knew I could count on you to do your duty,” said Liz, and grinned at him over the prone figure of the Doctor when he turned back to give her an unconvincing glare. “You do know, don’t you, Brigadier,” she added in a carefully conversational tone, “that the Doctor will continue trying this until you _do_ allow him to take proper scientific notes, don’t you?”

The Brigadier lifted an eyebrow as he removed his tie. “Good heavens, Liz,” he said, with a twinkle in his eye, “what _are_ you suggesting?”


End file.
